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Getting a phone lecture from "Freddie" on behalf of Owen Smith MP - a traitor

Tom Winnifrith
Friday 12 August 2016

As a loyal member of the Labour Party since last summer I once again get to choose who will lead our great party over the precipice. Ooops. I meant to even greater electoral success. Whatever...last night I got a call from "Freddie" on behalf of Owen Smith MP, the man who is challenging the great leader, Comrade Corbyn on behalf of the Blairite traitors.

Freddie greeted me with an explanation that he was calling on behalf of Owen Smith. Now I don't know what Freddie does as a day job but somehow doubt that he is a member of the labouring classes. But by 6.30 PM I am pretty cream crackered as I start my working day between 5 AM and 6 AM. Moreover I was playing Stratego with my daughter and did not relish being interrupted as I was enjoying putting a member of the younger generation in her place. And so when Freddie asked me if I had any thoughts on the campaign I let rip explaining how the members of our great party had spoken and those MP's attempting the coup were subverting democracy and betraying all socialist principles. I added that I was lookig forward to the deselection of  our treacherous local MP, Comrade Kerry McCarthy for her part in the plot to oust the dear leader.
Freddie said "so I don't expect you will be voting for Owen Smith then?" I replied that "I'd rather jump into a nest of vipers which is how I view people in your camp". Freddie said "well we are al in the same party and there is no need to use such language". At that point I put the phone down.

Comrade Freddie - what gives you the right to follow up patronising text messages by interrupting an important game of Stratego at a time when most folks are just winding down for the day? We workers have spent a hard day labouring away in our chains and being exploited by the bourgeoisie friends of your pal Tony Blair and can do without your patronising phone calls. Just piss off.

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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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