1887 days ago
The Mrs claims that she has put up a Labour poster in our house back in Bristol. The shame of it. What will our god fearing, hard working, tax paying white van driving neighbours think of us. They will have no idea that I am not, like the Mrs, a deluded Guardian reading lefty. The Mrs also made it clear that My Tory poster would be used as litter by Oakley or ripped up by Joshua in my absence. So I have brought it to Greece and as you can see it is now up on display ay the Greek Hovel.
1900 days ago
James Delingpole tweeted yesterday: Never thought I'd say this but Theresa May's Conservatives are so uninspiring it almost makes you yearn for the useless Dave. Rod Liddle asked "Is this the worst Tory Campaign ever?" I am not sure I know the answer Rod but as I go to vote in a seat the Tories should be gaining from Labour I do so almost not caring who wins.
2144 days ago
Like many others I did my bit for Britain by joining the Labour party eighteen months ago. Loyally, I have paid up by monthly standing order to ensure that Comrade Corbyn was elected as party leader and has also seen off a challenge from that little Welsh worm whose name I have forgotten already. I am confident that the Blairite Kulaks who attempted to betray the Dear Leader will now be purged from the party and thus the position of the bearded Marxist lunatic is truly secure.
Jeremy Corbyn can now lead the march towards Labour's true destiny in 2020, electoral oblivion. And I am proud that have done my little bit to help.
The Blairite Kulaks
2188 days ago
As a loyal member of the Labour Party since last summer I once again get to choose who will lead our great party over the precipice. Ooops. I meant to even greater electoral success. Whatever...last night I got a call from "Freddie" on behalf of Owen Smith MP, the man who is challenging the great leader, Comrade Corbyn on behalf of the Blairite traitors.
2196 days ago
Jeepers!. Folks must have thought I was a deluded lefty as the Mrs sent me off to Sainsbury's with a rafia bag emblazoned with the name and logo of her "new" university on it, so as not to use any plastic bags. It could have been worse, the Mrs does have one from a recent conference she attended. It boasts the emblem of "The British Sociology Association." It might as well say "mad middle class Guardian reading lunatic."
2230 days ago
Jeremy Corbyn has just emailed we loyal Labour party members urging unity. It seems like only yesterday that my local MP Kerry Mccarthy emailed me to urge lack of unity, viz sacking Corbyn. In fact it was yesterday. Whatever. Fraternity, Liberty, Unity, Comedy - we march on togther.
2234 days ago
Kerry McCarthy has just become the seventh member of the shadow cabinet to quit in a palace coup designed to oust our democratically elected leader comrade Corbyn. Kerry is my local MP and so as a loyal member of the people's party, since last summer, I am mortified.
2331 days ago
Amid all the hoo-hah about the resignation of Iain ain Duncan Smith it is easy to forget that one reason that the Tories are happy to fight each other is that Jeremy Corbyn's Labour party appears determined to make itself utterly unelectable. My local MP, ardent vegan Kerry McCarthy, is now the shadow minister in charge of farming and thinks that meat eaters should be treated like smokers, as pariahs. But if you thought she was barking mad meet Christine Shawcroft.
2510 days ago
I write as a meat eating smoker and loyal member of Comrade Corbyn’s Labour party here in Bristol East where our local MP is Kerry McCarthy, a vegan recently made shadow minister for The Environment, Food & Rural affairs. I am starting to worry that Comrade McCarthy and I might not see eye to eye when showing fraternal solidarity at our next branch meeting.
Comrade McCarthy is today quoted as saying: “I really believe that meat should be treated in exactly the same way as tobacco, with public campaigns to stop people eating it. Progress on animal welfare is being made at EU level... but in the end it comes down to not eating meat or dairy.”
Hmmmm. Campaigns to stop smoking are because smoking cigarettes is bad for you – if you do it often enough you will get sick. So of course is unprotected anal sex with complete strangers. But we do not have bath-house taxes instead we have punitive cigarette taxes (which creates a mass criminal smuggling industry) because middle class morality insists on the right of the state to decide selectively what we should or should not put into our bodies. Cigarettes bad. The todger of a highly promiscuous Easyjet airline steward, okay.
But at least
2690 days ago
I wrote yesterday that I was considering voting Labour because it is only the People’s Party and its local standard bearer Ms Kerry McCarthy that understand the critical important of tackling the seagull menace here in Bristol East and have pledged to put it top of their agenda. My good friend Amanda is cross with me and has sent me a stern email.
Whilst I accept her point that the economy, Europe, crime and other matters are important I am still in two minds. Perhaps her reaction is symptomatic of how out of touch folk in London are with life in the rest of the country? What with their underwater yoga classes and other funny ways I cannot expect them to appreciate the true Seagull peril we face here in the boonies. And only Kerry and the People’s party seem to appreciate this.
On the other hand the smile on the face of the deluded middle class lefty that is the Mrs when I announced that I was thinking of back Ed Miliband thanks to the sterling efforts of Kerry McCathy has made me think again. I cannot give her that pleasure. Okay, fear not Amanda I have stopped floating and am back with the Tories. But I would like them to stop blathering on about things like the economy and to let us know how they plan to tackle the big issue we face down here. What about the Seagulls Mr Cameron? What are you going to do about it?
2691 days ago
I am rather cross with my capitalist cat Tara. Whereas my morbidly obese three legged cat Oakley treated the UKIP pamphlets thrust through our door with suitable respect by defecating on Nigel Farage’s face, Tara failed to respond in a suitable manner when the Labour party pushed three flyers through the letterbox. Bad Tara.
Thus the Mrs, a lifelong deluded lefty, thrust them into my hand smirking at the failure of Tara to follow orders and I dutifully had a butchers. There was one from a dreadful harridan who leads Labour on the City Council and thinks our pompous arse of a red-trousered mayor George Ferguson is awful. He is but her rantings made me feel almost sorry for the Mayor. The level of petty squabbling just made me want to see the whole lot of them at City hall strung up with eco-friendly piano wire.
Then there was a glossy pamphlet from our Labour MP Kerry McCarthy. Oddly I could find no picture of her party leader Mr Miliband on the flyer and cannot imagine why that is. She had a long go at the Tories for failing to tackle the deficit. You what? Suddenly the party that always runs out of other people’s money when in power is the party of Austrian economics? Pull the other one Kerry luv. Kerry also boasts that she has mentioned Bristol 200 times in Parliament in the past five years. Wow… my taxes are well spent on you aren’t they?
Finally there was a pamphlet from my local council candidate who was wearing a trainspotter’s uniform and looked about 150. By this point I was losing the will to live but comrade Mike Langley grabbed my attention by flagging up the real issue in this election: the seagull menace here in Bristlington. And