Personal and undiluted views
Olivia

273 days ago

The vicar sends me a stern email about Dad's funeral - the Church of England is failing its parishioners monstrously

I have been sent a stern email by the Vicar in Shipston about tomorrow’s funeral for my father. She knows my views and position but reminds me that the Church is only following the law in requiring us all to muzzle up and not sing. Naturally I have replied but the attachment below, the Church’s guidance on Covid prevention, strikes me as a monstrous deception which, in time, it will be forced to recognise and will come to regret.

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760 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Olaf turns 18, Chris Oil turns his portfolio and Boris turns to sordid bribery

In this podcast I reflect on the birth of my daughter Olaf (Olivia) at just 26 weeks, weighing 1lb 4 oz all those years ago as she turns 18 today. I look at Boris Johnson’s proposed stamp duty bribe and why it is wrong at every level. I answer the questions I raised yesterday, about Chris Oil’s share trading in Union Jack Oil (UJO) and I discuss the “news” (it won’;t be to you dear listeners!) that Neil Woodford’s Equity Income Fund is being gated for a lot longer than the first announced 28 days.

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2714 days ago

I am Off to Wales v France – who to support?

Naturally my sporting thoughts this weekend will be in London. Can West Ham, in our last game before the return of Horseface, defeat Southampton at Upton Park to go into the top half of the table? More importantly can Ireland defeat the Old Enemy at Twickenham to lift the Triple Crown. Oh Lord, as I prepare for sleep tinight I pray of you that you may give your faithful servant BOD this one last triumph. As a merciful, fair and kind Lord I know that you cannot be an England supporter, so how about it?

But a nice man from North Wales has just offered me a ticket to see the Sheep Shaggers take on the Froggies in Cardiff on Friday night. It is but a short trip over from Bristol and so I have accepted. But who to support?

If I think of Big Nose, the Welsh speaking mother of my daughter Olivia and how insufferable she and her countrymen are when Wales win I am naturally inclined to support the Froggies. But then I chatted to Olivia tonight. For some reason she was not keen to discuss the Ireland game ( I cannot think why) but she says that she hopes Wales defeat the French and …it gets better…that what really matters is that Wales go on to beat England. That’s my girl!

And so for Olivia’s sake I am decided. I shall show solidarity with our Celtic Cousins. C’mon the sheep shaggers.

 

 

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2810 days ago

36 Hours without a cigarette

I arrived back in Bristol at 2 AM Saturday morning and very deliberately had a last cigarette of the day. Then I scrunched up the packet and threw it and my lighter away. That is the sort of gesture I have made many times before.

I think my longest without a fag was five years. But then the mother of my daughter Olivia then ran off with her graduate trainee ( naturally not mentioning this when filing for divorce, that was down to my unreasonable behaviour, blah, blah, blah), and just to show the old health Nazi I took up smoking again. Sensible move. That really showed her.

Anyhow I am trying to quit again. I have been smoking far too much. It inhibits my ability to run up stairs and is making my cold last longer than it should. It is an expensive habit and makes me smell.

No doubt I shall fail to quit again. Christmas brings with it many temptations. But I do want to quit. This is not the Mrs bullying me, she never does although she’d like me to stop. And right now, although I feel terrible as I write, I really do want to quit. 

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2856 days ago

Well done Olivia again – a proud father writes

Those who have been following me long enough know that my daughter Olivia was born at 1lb 4 oz just over twelve years ago. As such she has always been a bit of a miracle baby. But her triumphs continue to rack up. Her essay on the evils of the Euro got top marks and yesterday she learned that she had been picked for the U14 B side at her hockey club. So what you say?

Well A) we were warned that Olivia would always be small and may have breathing issues so any sporting triumph is a bonus.  B) Her hockey club is I gather, a rather top club. C) that is the U14sB. Olivia turned 12 just three months ago.

Olaf’s mum (Big Nose) was a county hockey player so I guess that is where she gets it from and I sense that Big Nose has pushed our daughter quite hard in this area. But the credit is all Olivia’s and yet again she makes me terribly proud.

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2870 days ago

My superstar daughter Olivia - warming the heart of her Eurosceptic Dad and Great Uncle

My 12 year old daughter Olivia has to write an essay for school arguing the pros and cons of the Euro for Europe. Showing a greater grasp of economics than 90% of the bien pensants political and media elite she concludes that there are no material pros and argues forcefully and coherently that there are lots of cons. For myself and her Great Uncle Christopher Booker, as well as her Farage admiring mother, Pinsent Masons partner Big Nose, this essay is a triumph.

For the rest of my family who are true deluded lefties and thus take the view that whatever Uncle Chris and I write, they automatically support the other side, this will be a watershed. A third Eurosceptic writer in the family...great news.

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2910 days ago

Entering the offices of Pinsents Masons (lawyers to the scumbags, Sefton) & an American Psycho

A difficult moment arose today as I returned my daughter Olivia to her mother Big Nose after a week in Kent. For some reason Big Nose was worried that I might humiliate her by wandering into her offices at Pinsent Masons wearing an inappropriate T-shirt, holding the hand of Dan Levi or just being a general embarrassment. For Big Nose is a partner at Pinsents, lawyers to the scumbags at Sefton who are accusing me of libel.

And so I arranged to meet her at Liverpool Street Station for the handover. Olivia and I arrived on time and called in but Big Nose was in a meeting. Then she had an urgent call and so I was instructed by her secretary to take Olivia over to the lion’s den, the global HQ of Pinsent Masons. Ooooo er. I could hardly contain my excitement.

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2964 days ago

My Welsh Daughter and Sheep Jokes

An early father's day treat saw me take my delightful daughter Olivia out for breakfast in Islington. Olivia's mother (Big Nose) is a Welsh speaker and Olivia seems to be growing up as a die-hard cottage burner - she is now taking Welsh lessons herself. It will come in handly when she visits the family of Big Nose in West Wales.

And so we wander into this restaurant and Olivia sits down with her back against the wall. I sit opposite and we prepare to discuss how her recent exams went, her plans for her 12th birthday, etc, etc.

But I could not help look at the wall behind where Olivia chose to sit. For one it was the image below. I made some comment about the girlfriends of Big Nose's little brother Andrew and got a dirty look.

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3025 days ago

Olivia starts to learn Welsh

There are worse things that a nearly 12 year old daughter could tell her Dad. Olivia has already had to broach the news to me that she supports Wales (like her mother, big nose) not Ireland.  Being told that she was supporting Manchester United like her mother’s young man rather than West Ham would be a real blow. And so today comes the news that she has now been given an audio tape and will soon have a private teacher to learn Welsh.

I put it to Islington resident Olivia that this would be a very useful language to acquire for later life. To her credit, she giggled. Why she cannot stick with another really useful language she is learning which I can speak (a bit) I do not know. What is wrong with Latin?

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3025 days ago

Evil Knievil asked to rewrite and airbrush history

At an also-ran investor show in a few weeks time Evil Knievil has been asked to give a talk on “my time at t1ps.com.” But he has been ordered to not, under any circumstances, mention Tom Winnifrith in that talk. Truly some folks are fascist morons.

For the record, t1ps was founded by me with Evil as its company secretary. We did the paperwork together in his flat in 2000. Its greatest triumph was the 3DM campaign. Who did the legwork, stayed up till 2 am calling folks across America? Er… Tom Winnifrith. Who wrote the 500 page dossier for the FSA which t1ps produced in the name of Evil and myself to get 3DM censored? Er… Tom Winnifrith and Monisha Varadan. Who edited (extensively) Evil’s two books published by t1ps? Er… Tom Winnifrith. Who organised the Evil t1ps seminar in London? Er…Tom Winnifrith. Who recorded hundreds of Evilcasts over 5 years with EK and then edited his diaries three times a week? Er ….Tom Winnifrith. This goes on and on. And on. And on.

I worked with Evil years before t1ps when the young men now in charge were still at primary school. I still chat to him all the time.  He read the lesson at my daughter’s Christening during his time at t1ps. He sent Olivia a very nice Olive tree which like her is now quite tall and flourishing.

Given that after five days in existence my new www.shareprophets.com website attracted more traffic yesterday than ALL of the websites owned by my former employer put together I can understand why certain young people may wish to airbrush history.

But as someone with a bit of experience who looks forward not back I suggest that the young men who have more decades than I to look forward to, consider the attractions of free speech and try not to rewrite and airbrush history. Be brave. Try to stand on your own two feet (rather than MY share tipping record). It is time to move on fellows.

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3056 days ago

Ireland Rugby Humiliation – what can I say?

My formative rugby years were in the 1970s watching on a black and white TV screen with my Dad. Why do we support the Men in Green is asked my Dad: they always lose? Well my father and I still support the men in green. He taught me to do so as his mother had taught him and we have had a great couple of decades. But it is over. The good times have officially ended and we return to what I consider normality. That is to say a battle to avoid the wooden spoon.

This season has been terrible. For the first 45 minutes against Wales we looked like world beaters. Since then it has been just dreadful. Frankly the Irish ladies team (who, I think, won their grand slam) have played with more passion and discipline and – at times – skill.

It is the end of an era. Not once have I had a chance to call Aunt Valerie (an Ulster woman) to share joy in a way that she cannot with her husband Uncle Chris, as Ireland have triumphed. Calls to my father have been sad as we wonder if those glory years – a twenty year period when Ireland were not good but great as opposed to the normal fare of brave also rans – are just over.

I am not even sure that I would describe Ireland as brave these days. Back in the 70s we would pray for the rain to poor down on Landsdowne Road. Keep it tight in the forwards and fight with passion, pray and hope. The late Moss Keane, Fergus Slattery, those were the days. In defeat those Ireland teams were brave.

And now?

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3064 days ago

Sefton Resources – the new sources, the email trail and its time to call the IRS

As you know Sefton Resources (LSE:SER) is suing me for libel. What is amazing is that as every day goes by more folks come out of the woodwork offering up information which makes my case ever more watertight. This is getting more and more enjoyable by the minute.  Just to keep you all amused and to allow uber expensive City lawyers Pinsent Masons to rack up more billable hours for Sefton to fund I share a couple of little gems with you. Pinsent Masons really is expensive but I do not wish to deter Sefton from pissing all its cash away as the mother of my daughter Olivia is a partner there and its Olivia’s Birthday in a few months, school fees are very expensive as are piano and hockey lessons and I am delighted that all this business is heading the way of PM.  And Olivia’s mother likes expensive holidays and so if Sefton’s shareholders can pony up some more and allow her a really smashing break this summer I’d be delighted for her.

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3071 days ago

Greetings to all my Welsh Readers: Happy St David’s Day

On March 1st my daughter Olivia ( whose mother is a Welsh speaker) tends to dress up in her National costume. And I wish her, her mother ( Big Nose) and all Welshies everywhere a very happy St David’s Day. I do not know whether it is a Bank Holiday in the land where they really can take a joke and never molest sheep. But since about 75% of Welshies live off the State it probably does not make much difference anyway.

Anyhow it is probably an excuse for you all to get pissed and utter increasingly dark words about how your coal mines and industry were all closed down by the evil Thatcher! And that the 30 years of high unemployment seen since, despite wholesale subsidies from the accursed English, is all the fault of Thatcher, the English, the Tories and not you.

Happy St David’s Day to Welshies everywhere, notably weather girl Sian Lloyd, those fine singers Shakin’ Stevens and Charlotte Church, cultural ambassador Mr Craig Bellamy and, of course Ruth Madoc from Hi de Hi.

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3097 days ago

Olivia won’t be happy – Wales vs Ireland

The past few encounters between Ireland and Wales have not made my father and I terribly happy. Our parting words after each recent let down have been “at least Olivia will be happy”. The mother of my daughter Olivia is a Welsh speaker, a dyed in the wool cottage burner and I am sorry to say that she has led Olivia astray in that she also supports Wales with a passion. She kindly says that Ireland is her second team but in post match calls in recent years she has not been able to contain her glee. Ha!

Ireland were magnificent in the first half, er…less good in the second. Brian O’Driscoll was inspirational. The Old Country were deserved winners and I will be calling Olivia ( and her mother) later to discuss. I shall try not to crow with Olivia. With her mother there will be no such restraint.

I did note one English reporter on the news commenting that after England defeated the poor Scottish team that the English should have no worries about beating France to win the six nations. He seemed to assume that next week in Dublin was a given. Such is the arrogance and swagger of English rugby right now. A home win in Dublin next week would be all the sweeter for that.

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3138 days ago

Merry Christmas to you all - what does it mean to you and me?

May I start by wishing all the readers on my own blog or the ten other sites to which I now contribute (going to eleven in January), a very Merry Christmas and – of course – a prosperous New Year. But what does Christmas mean to you? I have no idea. I know what it means to me and my family. For starters it is not just a holiday it is Christmas. I am simply not having a happy holiday or sending season’s greetings. Whatever your own personal views on religion you are getting a few days off work because you live in a Christian country and Jesus was born on Christmas Day. Get used to it and stop pretending otherwise.

Actually it is extremely unlikely that Jesus was born on 25th December, in 0 AD, in Bethlehem or in a manger. But that is another matter.

My family is religious. My step mother is a lay preacher and my father an enthusiastic member of the Shipston church although possibly the worst singer in Warwickshire. I was brought up to attend church and know the bible well enough. But try as hard as I can, and occasionally I have tried, I have never been a person of faith. I just cannot believe. I am not hostile. I leave that to my eleven year old daughter Olivia who has grown up with a mother who has a real hatred for the Church. Olivia is thus a proud Islington atheist. And thus three generations bring three views.

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3138 days ago

Christmas carols for Sefton Resources, the EU, Vialogy and the Modern World

Some young chap from UKIP was running a “Christmas carols opening two lines for the modern world “ chat on twitter tonight. His first entry was:

“Once in royal David’s city, Stood a lowly cattle shed, But when the Palestinians Bombed it, We build 200 new settlements instead”

To which I countered:

“Arrest you merry gentlemen from the BBC
You’re all screaming perverts it is now plain to see”

Naturally this got me started. And so ( in either English or German) I offer you the Evil Empire’s Silent Night

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3181 days ago

When in Wales...

My weekend has been spent walking in mid Wales. I needed a break from non-stop writing. And as always I am one who tries to be aware of local cultural sensitivities and so when in Wales…do as the Welsh do.

Hence on Saturday afternoon

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3316 days ago

Olivia is 11 – A very Proud father writes..

This is my personal blog and so if only one person reads this article (that being Olivia) I care little. But my daughter is 11 today, I am miles and miles away and I am terribly proud of her. She was a “miracle baby” in that she survived at all and although divorce has limited my contact with her there is not a day that goes by when I do not think of her, revel in her achievements and look forward to the next gripping instalment of her life.

Olaf was born a year into the life of t1ps.com.

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3338 days ago

Happy Birthday Ziggy Stardust (aged 40)

On the run into Warwick School in the late 1970s and 1980s I used to share a car in the mornings with Mark and Justin Adams from Bascote Heath. Their Dad would pick me up in Harbury and off we would shoot to the UK’s third oldest school. That was except when it snowed very heavily – Harbury being on top of a hill meant that we might get the day off and head over to Ufton to sled. That was rare. The big debate every day was what to listen to on the radio. Phil Adams, a kindly man, liked smoking and Radio 2 (Terry Wogan). We boys wanted fresh air and “Mike Read, Mike Read on the radio!” – Radio 1. The younger generation swore collectively that when we were adults we could be taken out and shot if we ever chose to listen to Radio 2.

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