1156 days ago
My four-year-old Joshua has been talking of little else for days. Yesterday, he really did get a card from Santa in the post which told him that he must be in bed early so that Santa could pop in and that he must leave a drink for Santa and something to eat for both Mr Claus and for Rudolph.
1709 days ago
My son Joshua is obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine and the other engines from Sodor and Santa Claus, being an inspired fellow, knew this and last year gave the lad, inter alia, pairs of Thomas (blue), Percy (green) and James (red) socks. He loved them all.
1900 days ago
I start with young Joshua's meeting with Santa Claus as flagged up yesterday and then discuss a couple of other Christmas rituals. Then it is onto today's shocker from Filtronic (FTC). I cover why the statement is misleading, discuss what is the real cash position and thus how quickly this could completely unravel. I then look at FinnCrap (FCAP), appointed Nomad and broker on November 15. Either it failed to do adequate Due Diligence or it has colluded in sitting on price sensitive information in clear breach of AIM Rules. Either is very naughty indeed. Which is it Sam Smith? Finally a few words on the leadership challenge to wretched Theresa May,
2264 days ago
There is no doubt that my angelic one year old son Joshua will be blessed with a visit from Santa Claus on the night before Christmas for he has been a good boy. The Mrs will be equally blessed for she has been a good girl. Notwithstanding the fact that he has just vomited in the kitchen, my three legged cat Oakley will also be rewarded with a stocking. Indeed, Santa will be a busy fellow. The mother-in-law is joining us to brighten up my Christmas and I gather that Santa will also be visiting her. to reward her for her good deeds in 2017, The only question is will daughter Olaf, be so lucky? She is a godless creature delighting in liberal delusions who thinks that Christmas is just one great consumerfest and nothing to do with Jesus. Should Santa really reward such heathens? But back to Joshua...
2685 days ago
Don't break it to the millennial generation but Christmas is actually about a bloke called Jesus not Santa Claus. None the less I reckon that I have been a pretty good boy this year and so I have written to Santa, who like firm contracts for African Potash really does exist, with a short list of what this stockmarket geek wants for Christmas. Here goes...
3730 days ago
Just like clockwork the exchange happened at midday on Friday. The little men had cleared out the flat in the poshest bit of Bristol which the Mrs had lived in since her postgraduate days and we set off to a rather less fashionable neighbourhood, where the sale proceeds have been re-invested in a lovely Edwardian house.
Okay, we are living out of packing boxes right now. But the space is enormous. The kitchen here is almost the size of the old flat. We have a garden with a vine which produces grapes which make wine – the former owners have left us one bottle from the 2012 harvest warning that it tastes appalling.
I managed to find the place alright driving back by car on my own at 1 AM this morning bringing with me the first six boxes of my books. The rest of my stuff will arrive in ten days time and then two households will be formally merged.
There are frustrations like having no Internet and thus also no TV for another ten days. And so I missed the X-factor last night and also Foyle. And I shall be forced to head off to “Grounded” later to spend the day working on-line drinking lattes (er... Rioja).
3788 days ago
I once believed in Avanti Communications (AVN). I also used to believe in the tooth fairy, Santa Claus and the idea that West Ham might one day win something again. How naïve. A while back I became a mild sceptic. I am now convinced that this is a colossal accident waiting to happen and should be shorted aggressively. It is my top AIM short to pay for Christmas.
4075 days ago
The special relationship between Britain and America is under its most severe threat in decades. Stateside, a petition calling for Piers Moron to be deported has garnered enough signatures for President Obama to have to consider it. The world’s most hopeless chat show host, self-confessed phone hacker and “lucky” share punter during the City Slickers affair points out that 99% of Americans have not signed the petition. Alan Sugar responded on twitter by saying that those were the people who had not heard of Morgan.
But as this petition grows in size daily, other petitions are springing up demanding that he not be allowed back into Britain. The grounds seem unclear other than the fact that he is a loathsome human being and we would be better off without him.
I would just about consider an Abu Qatada Piers Morgan a good deal for Britain but it is pretty marginal. Perhaps if America agreed to take Russell Brand as well?
In order to win an “It’s Time to Leave” T-shirt I offer this picture of two grinning gentlemen. On is a proven loser with no friends very occassionally seen in the House of Commons. And so is the other.
Please post your entries in the comments section below.
For what it’s worth my entry is:
Brown: “ I’d like to replace the £9 billion I lost on bullion sales and you say you know Britain’s best gold digger – can you get Ms Mills’ telephone number for me?”
Last week I asked you for captions to this picture:
4080 days ago
Some young chap from UKIP was running a “Christmas carols opening two lines for the modern world “ chat on twitter tonight. His first entry was:
“Once in royal David’s city, Stood a lowly cattle shed, But when the Palestinians Bombed it, We build 200 new settlements instead”
To which I countered:
“Arrest you merry gentlemen from the BBC
You’re all screaming perverts it is now plain to see”
Naturally this got me started. And so ( in either English or German) I offer you the Evil Empire’s Silent Night
4117 days ago
An IPSOS Mori poll out yesterday shows that 48% of Britons agree with Call Me Dave that the EU budget should rise only to match inflation. 31% want the EU budget to be cut. But 14% want it increased in real terms.
Cripes. As you walk down the street today be warned that 1 in 7 of those you pass are certifiably mad. They want to hand over more money Britain does not have to the Evil Empire. I wonder what percentage of our fellow citizens believe in the tooth fairy. Or in Santa Claus. Presumably the same sort of headcases. About 14%. How many believe in Nick Clegg’s promises? You are aving a larf. No-one can be that mad surely?