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You have 24 hours to invest £25 to save Britain forever: join Labour & Vote Corbyn ( but here's how to do it on the cheap)

Tom Winnifrith
Tuesday 19 July 2016

The NEC of the People's Party has changed its rules on who can vote in the forthcoming leadership election in a last stab at stopping Comrade Corbyn from winning the contest. But it is not too late to foil the wicked Blairite anti-democrats and to do your bit for Labour and for the Country. It is simple and costs £25. Actually it does not, you can do your bit for Jezza for far less. But act fast.

The polls suggest that in a contest among Labour members between Comrade Corbyn and either of his two rivals, the backers of illegal wars in Iraq and many other Blairite causes Mr Smith (who is he?) and Comrade Eagle it would be close.

But in polls among the wider electorate it seems that Comrade Eagle would be even more of an electoral liability than Comrade Corbyn and so many of us are torn. However Mr Smith might just be less of a liability and thus it is the duty of all good patriots to stand firm behind Comrade Corbyn to ensure that he can lead Labour forward to complete oblivion.

It costs £25 to join Labour buit only a fool would pay the full whack. Here is how to get in on the cheap to back Jezza.

If you are from an ethnic minority you get two years membership for just £5, c/o its patronising sub grouping for ethnics - BAME Labour. Labour needs this little bit of tokenism because, as every rich metropolitan liberal living in leafy, nearly all white, neighbourhoods knows, all ethnic minorities are oppressed by racism and so are all very poor and always will be.

I have not asked whether Anglo-Irish counts as ethnic or whether being eligible for an Indian passport thanks to my maternal grandmother being born out East means I can join BAME. I fear that whilst I can become an Indian I could not become a member of Labour's grouping for people including Indians. Whatever....You can join BAME here.

Or you could join LGBT Labour and it only costs £8. I was beginning to think that as a white straight guy I was sort of discriminated against by the Labour Party. What on earth makes the patronising bastards in Labour think that LGBT folks are any less affluent than straight people or, as Mr Smith defined them yesterday "normal" people. All the evidence is, as it happens, to the reverse.  

But as it appears that you do not need to be a shirt lifter to join LGBT Labour. Great. This grouping's website notes that "Supportive membership is open to all." Fabbo. If, like me, you are supportive of gay rights. If unlike Mr Smith who reckons being married to a woman and having kids is "normal" you actually regard being gay as normal too, you too can join LGBT Labour and get right behind Comrade Corbyn for just £8 HERE

I was trying to find the Labour Party grouping offering cheap membership to genuinely poor working class folks from the grim North who were once the bedrock of the party. But apparently Labour does not want to reach out to them and they have to pay the full whack or can just fuck off.

More guacamole! Jasper now where do we join LGBT Labour, I'm sure all our multi-millionaire neighbours in Hampsted are already on board. Spiffing idea Comrade.

If you wish to assist the great leader to take Labour the final yards, over the precipice, you have 24 hours to invest as little as a fiver most wisely.

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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
[email protected]
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