81 days ago
You may remember that among the things that became racist this year were trees. They joined other alt-right offenders such as coffee, fried chicken, women’s hockey and underpants, sand and an ever longer list of shame. Now thanks to that go to publication for the racist list of shame, The Guardian, we have another hate criminal. A lack of trees.
156 days ago
Since everything is racist it was only a matter of time before conifers joined cheese, sacking a librarian for burning library books, women’s hockey, fancying Priti Patel or Rishi Sunak, coffee, sand, pants, fried chicken, not dating a person of colour, dating a person of colour and so much else besides as being guilty of the worst of cardinal sins. The shocking revelation that your Christmas Tree might as well be a burning cross from the KKK comes from Portland Oregon in the United States of lunacy.
156 days ago
I sort of remember that cheese was first exposed as being racist back in 2020 along with sacking sacking a librarian for burning library books, women’s hockey, fancying Priti Patel or Rishi Sunak, coffee, sand, pants, fried chicken, not dating a person of colour, dating a person of colour and so much else besides. But in case the evils of cheese have not yet been exposed, they have been now. I guess this mixed race household must start emptying the fridge at once. Naturally it is from gender fluid crazy town, aka Brighton in Sussex, that this revelation comes.
180 days ago
Of course folks in Bristol should not have rioted last night however odious the new Bill to make Britain even more of a Police state is. I hope that those who damaged property and attacked and injured the Fuzz are arrested and get stiff custodial sentences. I doubt they will. But, in some ways, the Avon & Somerset Police asked for it.
236 days ago
Okay. This wretched and hardened criminal is not facing jail. That is my poetic license. But thanks to Portsmouth Police, he will be fined for the heinous offence of drinking a cup of takeaway coffee in his own car. We all know that this is a high-risk action which is likely to become a Covid super spreader event, don’t we?. It seems that Hants Old Bill is the latest force to be drunk on new lockdown powers, enjoying the ability to bully the law-abiding decent folks it is meant to be protecting. After all, that is so much easier than catching real criminals, isn’t it?
249 days ago
It is my birthday so the entire family became a criminal family to celebrate. I reckon it was five crimes under the new lockdown laws and with the Orwellian North Wales Police and the Orwellian West Mercia rozzers to cope with it, it is lucky we were not all arrested and deported to Australia. In order we:
253 days ago
I am almost longing for those heady days in July when the daftest thing the Police did was to take a knee to an organisation that wanted to er…defund the Police. At least, at that point, Plod just looked ridiculous. Now Forces across the country compete to use new Covid powers in the most authoritarian and pointless way and they look sinister and frightening. We had thought that the force that was most authoritarian was that of Northants leading the fight against eating Big Macs, before Derbyshire served up a storming entry with its designation of drinking a cup of coffee as having a, now, illegal picnic. But in the race to hand out £200 fines, we have a new winner of today’s most Orwellian force in Britain award.
253 days ago
The two charming young ladies committed two heinous crimes yesterday and the Derbyshire Police reacted as you would expect from an organisation drunk on the new powers it has been given by Priti Patel to stop a plague where survival rates in the under 70s are 99.95%. No, the young ladies were not sledging. No, they were not going for a Big Mac. Their vile and evil crime was walking in the open air in a socially-distanced manner while holding a cup of coffee. What selfish bitches. Go on Priti, lock ‘em up for good and throw away the keys, you know that you want to.
255 days ago
I missed this one at the time so thanks to RP for spotting it but along with drinking coffee, women’s hockey, knickers, bras, sand, covid, dating a person of colour, not dating a person of colour and so much else we now know, thanks to the Guardian, natch, that fried chicken is also racist.
270 days ago
Cripes. There was I thinking that in drinking my Kenyan roast coffee this morning, I was helping to create proper sustainable jobs in Africa and allowing folks to put food on the table of their family, pay taxes to support healthcare, education and other good things. How foolish was I?
854 days ago
Hat tip to Andrew Monk for this really very interesting piece on coffee. I pay £2.45 for a take-away here in the Grim North so I must be flushing away a good bit. Is this sustainable? Monk asks “Has the Era of coffee shops peaked and are we now going to see a gradual decline?”
1615 days ago
My blood sugar levels s have remained pretty good over the past few days. After my 9.3 on Friday I came in at 9.5 on Saturday and 9.9 on Sunday morning. I am running low on the little sticks you put in the machine so am on morning only tests pro tem. But Easter Sunday saw me hammering away at my laptop and drinking coffee. I had no car at that point and the cafe kept on giving me a little biscuit with my coffees. My day was almost all sedentary. It was a day that was just so typical of my poisonous lifestyle that saw blood sugar levels at 15.3 two weeks ago and me battling severe type 2 diabetes.
2811 days ago
The man on the other side of the aisle on the 4.47 AM from Bristol is drinking a cup of coffee. I lie, he is not drinking, but slurping it down very loudly and in excruciatingly painful small slurps. This torture has lasted from a few minutes before Didcot almost through to Reading. I imagine that an ill-mannered warthog drinking a Great First Western latte would sound similar. I find it very annoying.
We have special “quiet carriages” on this train and there is also an entertainment carriage. Could First Great Western perhaps introduce a couple of “No slurping your drinks like a warthog” carriages? I would be truly grateful.
3018 days ago
At The Real Man Pizza Company, we are picky about our food. For example, our pasta and pizza dough is handmade every day by our chefs and we buy our absolutely amazing ice cream from a local creamery.
Today, it's our coffee. We have switched to Clerkenwell roaster Workshop Coffee, who source and roast their beans just down the street from us. Drop by and taste the difference at Clerkenwell's quirkiest Celtic Italian restaurant.
3023 days ago
The massively loss making Guardian Newspaper has now opened a (massively loss making) coffee shop in trendy Spitalfields cum Shoreditch. You can view webcontent there - The Guardian only natch. And sip away on fair trade coffee with your fellow members of the deluded lefty middle class. The mousemats have the Guardian logo as does the wallpaper.
At last I know that when I die where I will go. Dante's Inferno has nothing on this. I shall clearly spend eternity having to drink fair trade coffee with deluded folk tutting in sympathy as they read Polly Toynbee's latest outpourings. There would be nothing else to read forever...just the Guardian.
In this trendy neighbourhood the streets were buzzing. Everywhere was packed. Everywhere but....the Guardian coffee shop where I counted seven customers of whom one was less than one years old and so merely a victim of parental abuse. Natch I did not go inside to hand over any of my wicked capitalist dosh but stood outside to pay due respect.