4 days ago
Here in Holt, the last village in Wales, where snitching on your neighbour with unfounded allegations is deemed fair game but something that cannot be discussed openly, a bright sun shines this Tuesday morning revealing another night of, modest, frost. So far this frost season the blossom on the fruit trees has survived and peas and beans planted a few weeks ago, grow unaffected.
39 days ago
Okay it is a small patch but it is a start. What was the jungle now has its first vegetables. And for the avoidance of doubt, once again my role was not managerial but as a co-labourer. The rows are about five yards long and contain runner beans, broad beans, peas and mange tout.
48 days ago
The workers arrived at 7 and the skip shortly afterwards with the first project the removal of the asbestos shed at the bottom of the vegetable garden, the area formerly known as the jungle. Notwithstanding my work into the early hours on family papers, I’d set an alarm and was there at the outset to make coffee for all.
66 days ago
At the back of the area once known as the jungle, there is a wooden fence along which I planted a row of fruit bushes last year. Starting with raspberries at the top, there are also gooseberries, blueberries and blackcurrants. With the exception of one raspberry, all have survived the winter so far and are thriving as you can see below. The plan?
68 days ago
Within 48 hours of placing an order with Amazon, my new toy had arrived. I have one just like it at the Greek Hovel but it was needed for a specific task, the long term plan to dismantle the hideous shed, made in good part from asbestos, at the edge of the area formerly known as the jungle. I set to work at once.
69 days ago
This patch is the far end of the area formerly known as the jungle. Behind the wall is the lane down to the hovel and on the opposite side of it is the only other chap in the village who is cursing the defeat of Ireland by Wales today. Eight rhubarb plants went in last year and eight have emerged this year. They are now all covered with pots which, I am told, gets them shooting ahead faster. Round the edge are the surplus lavender plants from the lavender hedge we are creating, and in the middle one of the cherry trees planted 14 months ago along the edge of the garden and which is coming along very well indeed. So I hope for another bumper rhubarb harvest to make rhubarb gin for the Mrs, rhubarb crumble for Joshua and er…what else do you make with rhubarb?
71 days ago
When we first arrived at the Welsh Hovel, you could barely see this shed which was buried amid foliage at the near end of what was known as the jungle. Today you can see it in its full horror and it is pretty ghastly, is it not?
78 days ago
I have moved from a managerial position to that of an honest peasant labourer in the gardens of the Welsh Hovel, the area formerly known as the jungle, which runs along the lane from the Hovel up to the centre of the village. We started with the planting of 100 lavender plants to create a wall alongside that lane. Spurred on by a discussion earlier about how I had once eaten lavender ice cream, Joshua felt motivated to join myself and my colleague Paul and, as a bonus, he brought the lady who looks after him two afternoons a week who, it turns out, has green fingers.
82 days ago
Behind a hut made largely of asbestos, which when we arrived was almost invisible as it was surrounded by the jungle, is my new pride and joy. Yes, it is my very own compost heap! Exciting or what? I can’t wait to tell daughter Olaf, I bet she will be thrilled. The Mrs, a townie who does not know anything about gardens, now understands about separating waste and I only have to remove the odd bit of plastic from what she dumps there. When the weather improves, there are a stack of rotten apples and some leaves from the formal lawn to go in.
91 days ago
Just a couple of snaps from the top inner field where I created the strawberry patch but also planted a second orchard – the first being apple only and down by the river. The trees are a mixture of apples, crab apples, pears, plums and two small fig trees. I have ordered another tree – a rare species but one native to Britain. More on that later when it arrives in the next week or two.
93 days ago
If I tried to explain my pride at what you see below to daughter Olaf she would just roll her eyes with that “daddy you are so old and boring“ look. So, dear readers, humour me and share my pleasure at what you see below.
551 days ago
The Jungle is where we told my young son Joshua that his beloved three legged cat Oakley had gone when he er.. went to a better place. There Oakley plays with the lions and tigers and is happy. But, rather confusingly for Joshua, there is, or was, another jungle here at the Welsh Hovel.
1637 days ago
I am still utterly confused as to why a 13 year old boy from the Calais Jungle was allowed to enter the UK because his father, a Jihadi, who entered the UK illegally, lived off benefits for five years and goes back to Afghanistan for holidays has somehow claimed asylum. Surely his father should be given the order of the boot as we really do not need to offer asylum to Jihadi murderers and thus his son has no right to enter the UK. What am I missing?
But what of the hundreds of other children at Calais? There are some who say that none should be allowed in as they are not refugees, they lost that status when they entered the first safe country, somewhere like Turkey. That is surely callous in that some of these kids really do have their closest living relatives living in the UK. They should surely be re-united as families. I am not sure the same applies when the UK relatives are distant relatives, surely the moral imperative of reuniting families must have a limit? Ist cousin maybe, 3rd no way.
On the other side of the fence are rich liberals like Gary Lineker and Lily Allen who blast as racists anyone who say we should not rush to take in all those claiming to be kids. The Mail today carries a harrowing tale of one such liberal who offered shelter to a 13 year old. He turned out to be 21, a jihadist and a nonce who threatened to kill her kids.
Now folks like Lily Allen, and my wife,. will say
1647 days ago
Born to two celeb luvvie parents, the pop singer Lily Allen has never had to struggle. Growing up in lefty and leafy Islington she attended 13 different schools including uber posh Bedales and was booted out of most of them. She is fabulously wealthy thanks to her pop songs. And now, when visiting the Jungle near Calais, she has apologised to those there on behalf of the whole country. Lily you are an out of touch elitist and can fuck right off.
1661 days ago
It was a total wet dream for liberal media luvvies Matt Frei and Jon Snow of Channel 4 News as they discovered Pepsi in the Calais Jungle. Originally from Indonesia, Pepsi had started adult life fighting as an Islamofascist terrorist before he moved to Libya where he came out as a homosexual which under the Gadaffi regime was, apparently, fine. But the Western backed rebels who ousted Tony Blair's pal Gadaffi were not so progressive when it came to gay folks so Pepsi, we are told, had to flee to Italy as an illegal immigrant. Actually he could have fled anywhere or even taken a plane back to Indonesia. He opted to illegally enter Italy and Europe but C4 gossed over that detail.
In Italy, Pepsi decided to start dressing as a woman but says he still likes to be described as male.
Clearly the place where Pepsi would fit in best is swinging London and thus Pepsi hiked it up to Calais