Orwellian

14 days ago

Today's Orwellian Covid Cops are in Avon & Somerset - man fined for eating a kebab in a car

Britain’s Police forces are increasingly drunk on the new lockdown powers they have been given by our airhead, but authoritarian, Home Secretary Priti Patel. My family and I managed to break five of her daft laws today with acts that have seen fines handed out by cops from various forces in recent days, such as sitting on a bench or drinking a cup of coffee, without the Rozzers catching us. But some poor sap from Bristol was not so lucky. His crime is shocking.

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15 days ago

Feck off Boris Johnson, Feck off Mark Drakeford: Birthday photo article of the Winnifrith multi-crime family

It is my birthday so the entire family became a criminal family to celebrate. I reckon it was five crimes under the new lockdown laws and with the Orwellian North Wales Police and the Orwellian West Mercia rozzers to cope with it, it is lucky we were not all arrested and deported to Australia. In order we:

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19 days ago

Things that give you Covid in 2021: throwing a snowball, Mercia Police are today's most Orwellian cops

I am almost longing for those heady days in July when the daftest thing the Police did was to take a knee to an organisation that wanted to er…defund the Police. At least, at that point, Plod just looked ridiculous. Now Forces across the country compete to use new Covid powers in the most authoritarian and pointless way and they look sinister and frightening. We had thought that the force that was most authoritarian was that of Northants leading the fight against eating Big Macs, before Derbyshire served up a storming entry with its designation of drinking a cup of coffee as having a, now, illegal picnic. But in the race to hand out £200 fines, we have a new winner of today’s most Orwellian force in Britain award.

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19 days ago

Photo Article: the criminal babes in the wood meet the Orwellian Derbyshire Police

The two charming young ladies committed two heinous crimes yesterday and the Derbyshire Police reacted as you would expect from an organisation drunk on the new powers it has been given by Priti Patel to stop a plague where survival rates in the under 70s are 99.95%. No, the young ladies were not sledging.  No, they were not going for a Big Mac.  Their vile and evil crime was walking in the open air in a socially-distanced manner while holding a cup of coffee. What selfish bitches. Go on Priti, lock ‘em up for good and throw away the keys, you know that you want to.

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51 days ago

Bath Spa – it is almost time to tell all and to name names

Back in November 2017, I gave a guest lecture at Bath Spa University where my wife then worked. What then followed was truly Orwellian and paints this wretched and failing institution in the worst possible light. Why mention this now, three years later?

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91 days ago

Come and arrest me at my father’s graveside you sad little people with Orwellian fantasies

Today an email arrives from sister T about my father’s funeral on Thursday. It generates a strong but measured response to all attendees from me. Were we 30 who were attending the funeral to head off afterwards to a grouse shoot that would be legal. Were we to head to the White Bear and book five tables in a crowded back room and sit there mask free that would be fine and dandy. But if we go on from the church to bury my father in the same plot as my late step-mother, in an open field, right on the edge of Shipston, there is a problem.

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100 days ago

Basketball England and its menacing take a knee “opportunity” for 13 year olds

With a wife who is a person of colour and a mixed race son I do not need to be told that Black Lives Matter. Of course they do and anyone who disagrees is a bloody numbskull.  But does that necessarily mean that one must support the “Black Lives Matter movement”?

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104 days ago

Lisa Nandy MP, sorry love I just don't believe you

I have a soft spot for Lisa Nandy – the Labour MP for Wigan. I think one of my sisters or maybe it was me sat on the lap of her grandfather Lord Byers once upon a time. In what is termed show business for ugly people, Ms Nandy scrubs up fairly well. Above all, she is, by the, admittedly low, standards of her party a voice of sanity and reason. However, I am afraid that her weekend utterances might in today’s Orwellian world be described as misspeaking, you and I might call it lying.

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129 days ago

Now smoking banned in your own study by Orwellian Local Council in Hammersmith, London

My late Uncle Christopher Booker did not believe in the idea of passive smoking. It was one of the few areas where we disagreed. I cannot see that inhaling other folks’ smoke can be good for you although, as an ex-smoker, I really do rather enjoy the smell of forbidden pleasure and the evidence that it causes massive harm if done in limited amounts is far from compelling. However, the two reasons to ban smoking in the workplace are a) that you may make the working environment of your colleagues less pleasant and b) that you might just be damaging their health.

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161 days ago

The Orwellian vision for Universities of the Guardian's Sonia Sodha

The peak years for state school entrance to my old University, Oxford, were in the 1960s. Then, successive Governments and Education ministers including, in a rare error of judgement, the blessed Lady Thatcher, started to scrap grammar schools. That ladder which gave bright working-class kids educational and social mobility was whipped away as they went along to comprehensives. Comprehensive schooling has, almost entirely, failed both the bright poor and the not so bright poor who, on most measures, fail in later life as badly as they did in the “bad old days”. But one institution has a solution… an establishment where most of the senior staff went to public schools and Oxbridge. Yes, you have guessed it…

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